On a Saturday night in London, I was at a bar. Drank a little bit.

By the bar, I observed two really huge women. I inquired, “Hey, are you two ladies from Scotland?” because they both had distinct accents.

One of them whirled around and yelled,

“You idiot, it’s Wales.”

So I immediately apologized and asked, “Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?”

That’s all I can remember.

Another hilarious joke

A man makes advances toward a flight attendant.

A man is by himself in an airport lounge.

A stunning young woman enters and sits at the table next to him.

He determines that she is most likely an off-duty flight attendant because she is dressed in a uniform.

He then decides to try and pick her up by recognizing the airline she flies for and highly impressing her in the process.

He says “to fly, to serve,” the motto of British Airways, as he leans across to her.

The girl gives him a blank stare.

He reclines and comes up with a new line.

The Air France slogan is recited as he leans forward once again. “Winning the hearts of the world”

She only stares at him once more, seeming a little perplexed.

He tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines slogan, unfazed. “Going above and beyond expectations?”

“What the f%*k do you want?” the woman demands as she gives him a severe look.

He exclaims, “Aha! United Airlines.”