The story of Will Smith’s life is more complex than anyone ever imagined.

An exclusive chapter from the 53-year-old celebrity’s honest new memoir Will, which was released on November 9 displays his life story.  Smith reveals embarrassing family secrets in it, including one involving his late father Will Sr., which, according to Smith, left him scarred for years.

Smith begins the book by describing the tumultuous connection he had with his father, William Carroll Smith Sr., who, along with his mother Caroline Bright, raised Smith and his three siblings in Philadelphia.

“Despite being aggressive, my father also made it to every game, play, and performance. He was an alcoholic, yet he showed up sober to each and every one of my movies premieres. For him, every album was played. He attended every studio.”

The horrible act of violence Smith claims to have witnessed his father do on his mother allegedly changed the path of Smith’s life.

“When my mother fainted, I was nine years old and witnessed my father giving her a hard blow to the side of the head. I heard her spitting blood and saw it. That event in that bedroom has perhaps more than any other in my life influenced who I am.”

The actor’s whole life and career would be impacted by the trauma he experienced at the time. “There has been a quietly repeated apology to my mother for my passivity that day in everything I have done since then, including the awards, spotlights, characters, and laughs, for failing her at that specific time. For not challenging my father,” he adds.

“Will Smith, the movie hero who kills aliens, is mostly a construct – a carefully nurtured and refined identity – created to protect myself,” he continues.

Smith’s parents separated in 2000, having previously split up while he was a teenager. Despite having a close connection with his father, the actor claims that the anger he had after that incident when he was little returned years later when he cared for Will Sr., who was fighting cancer.

“One night, as I delicately wheeled him from his bedroom to the bathroom, a darkness grew within of me. The hallway connecting the two rooms is past the top of the stairs. As a teenager, I used to swear to myself that I would one day get even with my mother. When I was strong enough, large enough, and no longer a coward, I vowed to destroy him.”

Smith recalls thinking about killing his father at the moment. “I paused at the top of the stairs”.  He says, “I could easily get away with shoving him down. The decades of pain, hatred, and disgust surged and then faded, and I shook my head and rolled Dad to the bathroom.”

When Will Sr. passed away in 2016, Smith talked about their turbulent relationship and what it taught him about finding genuine fulfillment.

He believes that nothing you may acquire from the material world would provide inner fulfillment or peace. It won’t matter how much people loved you in the end since you’ll only be rewarded with “the smile” based on how much you loved them.