After finishing his confession, the man said his prayers and walked over to the poor box. He hesitated for a moment, then turned to leave. The priest, noticing this, quickly approached him and said, “I saw that! You didn’t put any money in the poor box!”

The man responded, “I rubbed $50 on the box, and according to your own words, that’s as good as putting it in!”

On another occasion, a married man entered the confessional and told the priest, “I nearly had an affair with another woman.”

The priest asked, “What do you mean by ‘nearly’?”

The man explained, “Well, we undressed, got close, and, well, rubbed against each other, but I stopped before it went any further.”

The priest shook his head and said, “Rubbing is the same as going all the way. You’re not to see that woman again. For penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.”

The man accepted his penance, recited his Hail Marys, and approached the poor box. He paused briefly, then turned to leave without depositing the money.

The priest, watching him, called out, “I saw that! You didn’t put the $50 in the poor box as instructed!”

With a smirk, the man replied, “I rubbed the $50 on the box, Father. Based on what you said, that’s just as good as putting it in!”