One of the most lovely experiences a person can have is falling in love. It may be both exhilarating and terrifying, and the prospect of spending the rest of your life with your “forever” person can be life-changing and beautiful. These are just a few of the numerous reasons why being engaged – and then married! – is such a special occasion.
A proposal requires a lot of planning because one partner must determine when they will propose, where they will pop the big question, and what the ring will look like. Some people want to choose their ring ahead of time to ensure it is as flawless as possible, while others are completely surprised by what their loved ones chose themselves!
In August 2021, one mother took to Reddit to tell how her 26-year-old son, Sam, and his 26-year-old fiancée, Emily, had recently become engaged. Rather than purchasing a new band, Sam explained that he wanted to give Emily his mother’s engagement ring so they could begin treating it as a family heritage.
![](https://skysbreath.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/2072f17752ae0ece188ec7f67f3d72f6_500x1-min.jpg)
However, the mother was adamant about keeping her ring. She still wore it daily, and the ring held a lot of sentimental meaning. Family drama erupted after she declined, to the point where Sam labeled his mother selfish.
Since then, the mother has worried that she was wrong not to give her son and future daughter-in-law her engagement ring and sought advice from Reddit users.
The original poster (OP) stated in her Reddit post that her son and his longtime girlfriend, now fiancée, had finally decided to marry. “They had announced their engagement to my husband and me privately, and after the initial joy, they stated they had something essential to discuss with me,” OP explained.
For various reasons, Sam had intended to give OP’s engagement ring to Emily. “Sam suggested this would be a terrific way to avoid him from starting his marriage in debt because he had to buy a new pricey diamond ring,” she explained. “Emily also mentioned how much she likes my ring style and would want me to pass it down to her.”
![](https://skysbreath.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/d10f05f69108f3af8c15c56a875e9c8c_500x1-min.jpg)
According to The Knot’s 2021 study, the average cost of an engagement ring is around $6,000. This, however, varies depending on the pair and the region in which they live. There are many alternatives to diamond rings, like lab-grown diamonds or other jewels. Only approximately 8% of people spend less than $1,000 on an engagement ring.
OP was flattered that her son and prospective daughter-in-law liked her ring, but she also did. She elaborated:
“I adore my wedding band. I’ve been wearing it every day since my husband proposed to me with it, and to be honest, I’d like to keep wearing it till I’m old and grey.”
Furthermore, the ring was not a family treasure, as OP’s spouse had chosen and purchased it himself. “So, I informed them that while I appreciated them wanting my ring, I wanted to keep it,” OP explained.
Unfortunately for Sam and Emily, this did not go down well. Even though OP explained why she wanted to save her engagement ring and offered to pass it down to Sam and Emily’s future children, the couple was upset that they hadn’t received the ring.
![](https://skysbreath.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/b84aa49c380e664a36458210717fd4f9_500x1-min.jpg)
“Well, Sam and Emily weren’t pleased with my response, and Sam even labeled me selfish and materialistic,” OP explained. “He said diamonds are a swindle and wondered how I could allow him to go into debt to purchase a new ring.” According to OP, Emily was reportedly “disappointed” that she wouldn’t be receiving her engagement ring.
Because of Sam and Emily’s reactions, OP wondered if she was wrong to refuse to give away her engagement ring, but many Reddit users defended her. “I’ve always wondered how people can have the chutzpah to label someone selfish for wanting to maintain their stuff while insisting that others hand over their money or property to them,” one person commented.
“If he can’t afford the ring, he probably can’t afford a wedding,” observed another. There are lots of alternatives to a real diamond for her… They have earned it.”
The OP revised her post to thank Redditors for their feedback and to state that her husband supported her decision. “He claimed he is on my side and would have supported my decision with the ring, but he admitted that he was glad that I still adore my ring after all these years!” she added.
What are your thoughts on this mother’s refusal to pass down her engagement ring to her son and future daughter-in-law? Do you have any heirlooms from your family? Please let us know, and please forward this to your loved ones.