On a cruise ship, a woman goes to the bar and requests a Scotch with two drops of water.

As the bartender gives her the drink, she says, “I’m taking this trip to honor my 80th birthday today.”

The bartender says,

“I’ll get you a drink because it’s your birthday. I’m paying for this one.”

The woman on her right remarks as the woman finishes her beverage,

“I’d want to buy you a drink as well.”

The elderly lady says,

“I’m grateful. I want a Scotch with two drops of water, please.”

“Coming up,” the bartender says.

The man on her left says to her as she drinks that drink,

“I’d like to purchase one for you as well.”

The elderly lady says,

“I’m grateful. I’d have another Scotch with two drops of water, please”

The bartender says, “Coming right up.”

He says as he hands her the beverage,

I’m dying to know, Ma’am, why the Scotch has only two drops of water.

The old woman replies, “Son when you’re my age, you’ve learned to hold your liquor.

…Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.”