Jake and Mary Jacobs have come a long way in their journey of love and commitment. Last year, they joyfully celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary. However, their path to happiness was far from easy.
It was the 1940s when Mary, a White woman, and Jake, a Black man, resided in the same city in Britain. At that time, the presence of Black men in the area was scarce. Despite the challenges they knew they would face, Mary courageously chose love over societal expectations.
When Mary mustered the courage to tell her father about her intentions to marry Jake, he cruelly told her that if she proceeded, she would be banished from their family forever. But Mary remained steadfast in her commitment.
Their love story began at a technical college, where Mary was studying typing and shorthand, while Jake was undertaking Air Force training. During the war, Jake had relocated from Trinidad to Britain and caught Mary’s attention through his deep understanding of Shakespeare. Their connection blossomed, and one day, they invited Mary’s friend to join them for a picnic. Unfortunately, their innocent get-together caught the attention of a passerby, who reported Mary’s interaction with a Black man to her father. Witnessing two English girls conversing with Black men shocked the woman, and as a consequence, Mary’s father prohibited her from ever seeing him again.
After Jake returned to Trinidad, they maintained their connection through heartfelt letters. Years later, he made his way back to the U.K. in search of better job prospects. To Mary’s surprise, Jake proposed to her, and at just 19 years old, she eagerly accepted. However, when she revealed the news to her family, they callously cast her out.
With only a single suitcase, Mary left her family home, forsaken by her kin. In 1948, no family members attended their registry office wedding ceremony. Mary’s father’s disapproval of her choice fueled by societal prejudices weighed heavily on her heart.
The early years of their marriage in Birmingham proved to be immensely challenging. Mary recollects the tears she shed daily and the countless obstacles they encountered. Nobody seemed willing to engage with them, finding a place to live proved arduous due to the discrimination against renting to Black men, and financial hardships plagued them. Even something as simple as walking down the street together became an arduous experience due to the judgmental stares and pointing fingers from onlookers.
Though Mary and Jake eagerly anticipated starting a family, tragedy struck when Mary delivered a stillborn child at eight months. The loss devastated them both, and they were unable to conceive again.
But as time passed, their fortunes began to shift. Mary pursued her passion for teaching and eventually became an assistant principal, while Jake found employment with the Post Office. They formed new friendships, but Mary always felt the need to preface introductions by mentioning her husband’s race.
“My father passed away when I was 30, and even though we managed to reconcile by then, he never truly accepted Jake,” Mary shared, reflecting on their complex relationship.
Presently, Jake, 89, and Mary, 84, reside in Solihull, a town located south of Birmingham. They have just celebrated an incredible 70 years of marriage – a testament to their enduring love.
Jake admits that today’s young Black generation may not fully grasp the challenges he grappled with in 1940s Britain. He recounts the daily abuse he endured upon arriving in the U.K., such as a man despicably rubbing his hands on Jake’s neck, cruelly stating, “I wanted to see if the dirt would come off.” Being a Black man working in an office alongside White women was considered unsafe in those times, Jake explained.
Despite the countless hurdles, biases, and abuse they have encountered throughout their lives, Jake and Mary remain deeply in love, and they harbor no regrets about their lifelong commitment to one another. Their remarkable journey stands as an inspiration to all, and may their love continue to radiate joy for the rest of their days.
