Recently, I had a rather unpleasant experience with my fiancé regarding finances. I felt compelled to share my story because I believe it’s important to address issues that can arise in relationships.

To give some context, my fiancé and I have been engaged for five months now. We have agreed not to share our finances, as this is his preference. However, things took an unexpected turn when I received a 30% raise in my salary, surpassing his earnings. Instead of celebrating my achievement, my fiancé started to use this as an opportunity to ask me to foot the bill for him and his friends.

At first, I tried to refuse his requests, questioning why I should be responsible for covering their expenses. But his response was always the same, “the 30% – that’s why.” He made me feel as if this increase in my income was somehow unfair or that I was not deserving of it.

What bothered me even more was that he had tricked me into paying for meals in the past. I must admit, I am not one to enjoy confrontations, especially in public places like restaurants. So, when he asked me to join him and his buddies for dinner, I made it very clear that I would not be paying this time. He assured me that he had it covered and there was no need to worry.

However, as we sat in the middle of dinner, he whispered to me that I would be paying for everything again. This time, I refused to give in to his manipulation. I whispered back a firm “no,” but I could tell he was relying on me to avoid causing a scene in front of his friends. He even had the audacity to say, “You have enough money; you can pay for everyone’s food – 30%, remember?”

Naturally, this made me furious. Instead of losing my temper or engaging in a negative confrontation, I made a calculated decision. When the bills arrived (thankfully, they were already split from the start), I paid only for my own meal. I then excused myself to the restroom and, unbeknownst to my fiancé, I quietly left the restaurant and drove home.

Once I got home, my fiancé bombarded me with calls and texts, demanding to know where I was. I explained the situation to him, expressing my disappointment in how he had put me in such an uncomfortable position and essentially tricked me into paying for his friends’ meals. After informing him that I had gone home, I stopped responding to his messages.

An hour later, he showed up at our place, furious and shouting at me. He called me selfish, irrational, a cheapskate, and even childish for sneaking out like that and leaving him with a bill he couldn’t pay (he had to ask his brother for help). We engaged in a heated argument, and eventually, he stormed out.

Surprisingly, not a word was spoken by his friends throughout this ordeal. However, my fiancé later informed me that they were disappointed in my behavior and are advising him to take some time to “reflect” on the type of woman he intends to marry.

This incident has left me conflicted and uncertain about our future together. I believe it is crucial that couples have open and honest discussions about finances and respect boundaries. Mutual understanding and consideration should be the foundation of any relationship.