My husband and I have been together for five years. We were only concubines until two years ago. I gave birth to a gorgeous baby in February 2015 who had some health issues, but I don’t believe it was the cause of our current predicament.

When I speak with him, there are some things I don’t comprehend.

– she becomes irritated, raises her voice, and I rationally feel ashamed; we then blame one other.

I’ve learned to do everything on my own, so when I ask him to do something or assist me, I always get the same response: “but why can’t you do it?” I require a great deal more assistance. Thank you sincerely!

Adela responds:

My sweetheart,

I understand from what you say that you want your husband to be more helpful and patient with you. You must be very strict about what you accept and don’t allow in order to create this impact.

If your child raises his voice to you again, you will be allowed to take him and leave him. He won’t straighten out as long as he knows he can offend you and you allow him. He will respect you and learn to control himself only if you show him that you are not afraid of him and that you are not dependent on him.

Tell him exactly what he needs to do when it comes to simple tasks, such as putting out the garbage or taking the little one for a stroll. Try not to lose your cool if he raises his voice.

Or, even louder than him, hoist him up. Explain that you require a husband to assist you, to be at your side, and to be an optimistic father for your son, not a howler monkey to care for and with whom you have a strained relationship.

If he can’t control himself, he should look for another place to live. You are no longer prepared to put up with this behavior forever.

I told you that if you are convincing enough, he will respect you. If not, things will continue as before. It’s all up to you.