Recently, Ellen DeGeneres opened up about a troubling family secret, hoping that her candid revelation will offer support to those facing similar situations.
The beloved comedian wishes she had been shielded from harm during her vulnerable youth and expresses her deep frustration with those who doubt such experiences.
Born in Louisiana, Ellen DeGeneres found her way into the public eye in the late 1970s, overcoming numerous challenges along the path to fame.
Her major breakthrough came in 1986 when she delivered a stand-up routine on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, which led to more appearances on late-night television, a busy schedule of club performances, and roles in various TV series.
Between 1989 and 1990, the now 66-year-old star took on her first regular TV role in the short-lived sitcom Open House, and by 1994, she headlined in the comedy series These Friends of Mine, later renamed Ellen.
“I was laughing out loud when I read the script. I knew what I could do with it,” she told the New York Times in 1994. “I wanted a show that everybody talks about the next day.”
A Catalyst for Conversation
The show certainly became a topic of conversation, especially after Ellen came out as a lesbian both on the show and in real life.
Though the series was canceled in 1998, leaving her heartbroken, the same year, she announced her relationship with actor Anne Heche.
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Heche recalled their first meeting with fondness: “I saw the most ravishing woman I had ever seen in my life standing across the room. Her name was Ellen DeGeneres. She was radiating,” she said. “I think at certain times in people’s lives, you just radiate an energy and a glow of fabulousness. And that was her!”
Their relationship ended in 2000, shortly before Heche revealed some haunting experiences from her past.
In a 2001 interview with Barbara Walters, Heche disclosed that she had been sexually abused by her father, a traumatic ordeal beginning when she was merely a toddler.
“He raped me,” stated the award-winning actress, who tragically passed away in August 2022 at the age of 53 following a horrific car accident.
“I think it’s always hard for children to talk about abuse because it is only memory. I didn’t carry around a tape recorder…I didn’t chisel anything in stone,” she said. “Anyone can look and say, ‘well, how do you know for sure?’ And that’s one of the most painful things about it. You don’t.”
Heche was not the only person to face such trauma and deal with skepticism following her account.
Expressing Fury
“As a victim of sexual abuse, I am furious at people who don’t believe it and who say, ‘How do you not remember exactly what day it was?’” DeGeneres told Today’s Savannah Guthrie in 2018. “You don’t remember those things. What you remember is what happened to you, where you were and how you feel. That’s what you remember.”
DeGeneres previously touched upon her own experience while talking with Busy Phillips on an episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, which ran from 2003 to 2022.
Phillips, a celebrated TV and film star, shared her story of sexual assault at the age of 14.
In response to Phillips’ revelation, DeGeneres confessed, “I was 15 and I had something happen to me…anyone who has had something happen to them, you just get so angry when someone doesn’t believe you or says, ‘Why did you wait so long?’” She continued, “It’s because we’re girls and we’re taught not to say anything and go along with it.”
During this period, DeGeneres – known for her vegan lifestyle and animal rights advocacy – briefly discussed her story, but a year later, she delved deeper into the ordeal involving a “very bad man.”
In a conversation with David Letterman for his Netflix show, My Next Guess Needs No Introduction, DeGeneres – who has been married to actor Portia de Rossi since 2008 – described how the abuse began when she was around 15 or 16 years old.
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She explained that her mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy. Her former stepfather exploited this situation to sexually abuse her.
“He told me when she was out of town that he’d felt a lump in her breast and needed to feel my breasts,” an emotional DeGeneres recounted to Letterman. “He convinced me that he needs to feel my breasts and then he tries to do it again another time, and then another time.”
Initially, DeGeneres kept the assaults hidden from her mother, and when she eventually summoned the courage to disclose the truth, her mother didn’t believe her allegations.
“I should never have protected her. I should have protected myself and I didn’t tell her for a few years and then I told her,” she shared about her mother, who remained married to the perpetrator for 18 additional years. “…she didn’t believe me…And finally left him because he’d changed the story so many times.”
Talking about her lifelong trauma, DeGeneres – who has continued to care for her mother – added, “I didn’t really let it get to me. Until recently, I kind of went, ‘I wish I would have been better taken care of. I wish she would have believed me.’ And she’s apologetic, but, you know.”
We hope that DeGeneres and other courageous individuals inspire anyone who may still be suffering in silence to share their stories.
What do you think about Ellen’s story? Please share your thoughts with us and spread the word so we can break the silence around this important issue.
