I (27F) have been happily married to my husband Nate for over 10 years, and we’ve recently celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. While our relationship is great, I can’t say the same about the dynamic I have with my mother-in-law (MIL). You see, she has this habit of policing what I eat, which always leaves me feeling frustrated and misunderstood.
Now, let me give you some context. I come from a family with fast metabolisms, and I have a physically demanding job working with horses. This means I burn a significant amount of calories every day (around 2.5-3k), so naturally, I need substantial meals to keep my energy levels up. Despite this, I still maintain a slim figure.
One Friday night, my in-laws invited Nate and me to dinner. Being extremely busy, I hadn’t eaten since early morning, and I didn’t manage to grab a snack before heading to the restaurant. Needless to say, I was absolutely famished (normally, I try to eat beforehand to avoid my MIL’s comments).
At the restaurant, my MIL ordered a giant steak dinner for herself. In response, I chose a large steak meant for two people, complete with prawns, bacon, and two sides. It’s essential to note that my meal wasn’t the most expensive on the menu, as some of my in-laws had opted for pricier dishes. We had agreed to split the bill equally anyway.
However, my MIL just couldn’t let it go. She started making comments about how I couldn’t possibly eat all that food and how I was making the men uncomfortable. Her objections ranged from criticizing my food choices to implying that there was something wrong with me for wanting such a substantial meal.
Despite her judgmental remarks, I remained composed. I politely explained that I hadn’t eaten since early morning and was starving. Furthermore, I assured her that if I couldn’t finish the steak, I would take the leftovers home. To my surprise, I easily devoured the steak and anxiously awaited my dessert.
That’s when everything went downhill. My MIL completely flipped out. She accused me of seeking attention and putting on a show. She went as far as saying that I had made my father-in-law and brother-in-law feel uneasy and that a woman shouldn’t eat that much because it’s unhealthy. It was an unfair and hurtful attack.
To make matters worse, my MIL decided that I should foot the entire bill as a consequence of my “excessive” eating. I stood my ground and refused to comply, supported by Nate. Even though most of my in-laws sided with us, they still believed there was something wrong with me.
It’s disheartening to say, but the aftermath of the dinner turned into an online passive-aggressive fest. My in-laws flooded social media with posts indirectly targeting me, accompanied by articles on “what might cause excessive eating.” It’s absurd, right? Not to mention that they conveniently overlooked the expensive dishes my MIL had ordered, including her starter.
In the midst of this bizarre situation, Reddit came to the rescue. The top comment advised me to assert my dominance and stand up for myself. Another user recognized the blatant misogyny at play, while someone else expressed concern about the impact this could have on my future children. It’s reassuring to know that most men have no issue with a big eater.
At this point, I think it’s time for me to share some articles of my own with my in-laws. Perhaps they’ll learn something new. After all, everyone’s metabolism is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. It’s all about understanding and respecting our unique bodies and needs.
Despite the drama, I want to extend a big thank you to those who support me and empathize with my situation. It means a lot to know that I’m not alone in dealing with food policing. So here’s a virtual high five to all the individuals who have my back. Stay strong, and don’t let anyone dim your appetite or enjoyment of food!
