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  Cold Spoon Tap

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  Alkaline Gum Press

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  The Biker Chased Me To My Date’s Van. She Wasn’t Attacking Me.

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  The Biker At The Bus Stop Was Staring At Me. I Wasn’t The One In Danger.

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  Ginger Temple Rub

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  The New Recruit Knew My Wife’s Name. I Broke Into His Footlocker.

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  The Veteran Bullied Me Over A Photo Of My Wife. Then I Found His Old Police File.

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  Flour Dusting

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  The Camp Dog Snapped At The New “chaplain.” I Looked At The Priest’s Boots.

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  Vagus Nerve Chill

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  We All Loved The New Guy. Then His Bible Fell Out Of His Locker.

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  The Drill Sergeant Slept With A Teddy Bear. I Stole It To Mock Him. It Weighed Five Pounds.