Allison Holker’s husband, Stephen “tWitch” Boss, died in a horrific accident that still crushes her heart. In December, tWitch was discovered dead in a motel room near the home he shared with his wife and three children. At the time, TMZ was the first to report the news.

Some people were taken aback by the dancer’s suspected suicide because tWitch was always cheerful and full of life. Holker posted one of countless social media memorials to tWitch a few days after his death was confirmed.

“My heart aches for my ONE AND ONLY. We miss you so much,” she captioned an Instagram photo of herself and her husband.

During the holidays, Holker paid another tribute to tWitch on Instagram. “To my husband, best friend, darling, Chee-chalker, Superman, and father of my children, I LOVE YOU FOREVER and ALWAYS!” she captioned a video with a photo montage of moments spanning more than a decade.

“We will continue to share your light and love around the globe as we will always remember you as the actual beacon of light you were. Thank you for our amazing memories and our beautiful shared lives.”

Even though she has been left to pick up the pieces and move on with her life without the person who was most important to her, Holker has not talked to fans about the loss until now.

Holker posted a video on Instagram on February 18 in which she spoke frankly about the devastating loss for the first time.

Allison Holker’s fans had been praying for her and her family for several weeks, so she put on makeup and made a video for them.

“I just want to say thank you for all the love and support that you guys have offered to my family and me at this time,” Holker began, sitting outside. It’s been incredibly stressful and upsetting.”

“But, you guys have given us so much hope and inspiration by sharing your experiences, memories, and insights into the numerous ways Stephen touched your life,” she continued.

She went on to describe her husband as “absolutely amazing.” Despite admitting that it may appear “a little bit different” without Stephen “tWitch” Boss by her side, Holker vowed to continue making people smile. Holker, wearing her wedding rings in the video, promised to “always” be there for her fans.

During this challenging time, a source told People that Holker is concentrating on her children. Weslie Fowler, Holker’s daughter, had been adopted by Boss, and Holker and tWitch had two children together, Maddox and Zaia.